AntiCelebrity.net

Talk about a song striking a chord... *Love and Attraction by Darren Hayes (metaphorically) hit me over the head like a frying pan. I could just post all the lyrics to make my point!

When you're in a seemingly solid relationship it's easy to feel a little smug about the fact that you don't need to deal with the circus that is meeting, dating, making and breaking relationships. And when you're single the concept of having 'someone' sometimes seems like a far-off, hallowed place.

Anyone who's single is in a constant state of flux. Truly, I think we're looking for our 'one'... that other person who will captivate, love, accept, challenge us. But someone give me a map for how to accomplish that while manoeuvring the clichés ('it happens when you're not looking it') and the false starts ('it's not you it's me').

If you're a long-term relationship survivor, being single brings freedom and choice to live life on your own terms, doing what you please. After a while though, one can get a little selfish and choosy over giving up or compromising this new lease of life. Or god-forbid becoming entrapped in a wrong-relationship again.

Or there's the situation when someone likes you, but you don't feel the same. If you spend time with them (despite not giving them any signals) you feel like you're leading them on. So that's a friendship put on-ice before it gets complicated.

The older you get, the higher the likelihood of potential-other-halves having baggage and issues. Likewise, ourselves having emotional scars from past relationships might even put us off taking risks to achieve that holy grail of the right relationship.

Another option I've seen people take, is to have a partner that lives away. The 'relationship' quenches certain emotional and physical needs, yet the interim time provides the space, freedom, choice and terms that the slightly selfish single life offers (monogamously).

So what's a guy or girl to do?

• Live in positive hope and treat every new person/date/relationship as it's own entity, on it's own merit, not clouded by previous beliefs or scars.
• Take the odd risk.
• Quit if it seems like any 'leading on' is happening.
• Do what makes you happy, never settle for less than you deserve- even if it leads you to Camp Single for awhile.
• Like yourself and open yourself up to possibilities.
• Give it your all anyway, one time it'll come good.

And how on earth do things like books (Twilight Saga ), tv (Being Human ) and music capture it all so spectacularly?!

'Love and attraction.
It's like sex and passion.
It's two ends of a spectrum.
Are you a friend or a lover?
Now pick one or the other*'

Homework: Darren Hayes - *Love and Attraction lyrics / performance